So near..yet,so far...No More - Part 1!

The Amazing Race.. Chennai Sambar'ed edition... 5 modes of transport... 5 different places... 2 'Phone a friend(s)' on call ...all in 6 hours of sweltering heat! phew! Am proud of the Incredible India(n)! :))

I returned to my friend's place that night and wrote that sentence down,as my Facebook status message.It was my FIRST tryst with..Chennai,the supposed capital of the 'Oh-So-Conservative' South to which I (though I'm French!! mwaahaaa).All life I had lived rather close to it,2 hours South of it, and yet, I had never 'seen' Chennai.I guess I could blame it on the absence of the usual suspects,lack of relatives,while almost everyone I knew seemed to have. I had made fleeting appearances in the city,for purely 'transportation' purposes(think airport,railway station).I used to have one,yes, one relative there..and those visits had dwindled down too.I hadn't 'experienced' the heart of Chennai,public transport.It was to change this time, by a rather weird twist of events(aka Murphy-ed).

Over the next four days, I shuttled between a corner of the city where I stayed,a hospital in the city and a total Tam-Bram neighborhood home at the South end of the city. It was supposed to be cooler in September, but since Murphy was there, it was so comfortable there that even locals complained about the heat. I set out each day,armed with a backpack with essential supplies, energy bars, my metal water-bottle, a towel and yep.. a deodorant! :)

The big city experience was new to me and after having negotiated only a small part of Delhi,most of Gurgaon and my favorite Bengaluru, I was looking forward to this experience. The days were going to spent shuttling between the hospital and the home but I would never know when I had to be, and where! So the non-peak times were planned to be spent shopping.And public transport would be the way to go. The evenings were to be used to explore the hep side of Chennai before heading to my friend's place to crash for the night.

Chennai's autos are known for being hostile to newcomers as I found out a few years back. But this time was different. I had my sources, my friends on the phone.So one call and a few questions to the people around, I'd figure out the bus/share auto combination I'd need to get from say, the Chennai Trade Centre to Spencers. And since I was always ridiculous at bargaining, I'd start at a real low level, only to be pushed higher, thanks to my only piece of sophistication, my backpack. Anytime an autowallah sees you, he immediately tries to profile you, based on the way you look. And since Diesel tees and Nike shoes are a commonality, at least as their afterlife forms, Deisel and Nika,he looks for minor details.. and that's where a backpack that looks new and has a gazziliion straps comes in handy(or kills you). A 40 buck trip jumps to 100 immediately as he waits for the sophisticated doode to fall for auto, as a shelter from the heat.I was lucky to fall for that trick only once in the entire 4 days.

The auto,share-auto travel also had me witness to some interesting characters.Autowallahs can be sly, or talkative. I was lucky not to find the sly ones, but I guess I attracted the talkative ones(no surprise there)! The second day, I was in a share-auto when the driver picked up one of his relatives for the trip too. The lady and the driver laid threadbare the entire family's politics.At one point, they talked about this particular gentleman, their cousin, who they seemed to mutually hate for the same reason,no reason.He had sent them the invitation to his wedding.. a day before his wedding. They cribbed on how snubbed they felt..while I was itching to jump into the conversation and shout.. 'That is called an Uninvite'!!! :D Jerry Seinfeld would have been a hero in semi-urban India!

But the 'mother-of-all' talkative autowallahs was to make an appearance later that day. I was to head to City Centre, a mall, to meet a friend and was running late. I did the mandatory calls.. this time to a cousin, who was familiar with that route.A call to her led to a call to her friend and 5 minutes later I had the estimate, 50 bucks.I stopped the first auto.. the driver looked at me and with a straight face went,150 saar. I unleashed my evil grin on him and asked him to get going with his busy schedule.The next auto pulled over in quick time and quoted 80.. I went for 60.The driver, an old man, laughed and went 'Thambi,Thatha maathri nenachuko pa.. 65'(Son, think of me as your grandaddy,lets make it 65!!). 'Sothhula pangu kudupiya, thatha?' (So, do I get a share of your property,grandaddy?) I quipped.. as both of us laughed and I decided to give in to the sentimental attack . A few minutes into the drive, I asked a question that started it all. 'Hows the day going?'.It was almost as though he was waiting for the question. For the nest 45 minutes it took, I got a glimpse of his entire life.. his Taxi driver days, when he even drove for Late Andhra CM,YSR.. his 30 day hazardous material truck trips from Chennai to Hyderabad... the places he had visited and yes.. his Hindi skills.

Auto drivers in Chennai are the last people you'd expect in Chennai to speak Hindi(Indhi, as they pronounce it), the language that is sooo much more than just a language, thanks to the politics associated.But here he was, our man.. reeling off 'Aap aaj kaise hain?' in typical South Indian accent but fluently nonetheless. It came in handy when bargaining with the North Indians in Chennai, he said.He went on and stated that he was a die-hard Amitabh fan.. having watched a lot of his movies(every one of those in which he was called Vijay!!!).But the killer punch was when he started reeling dialogues from Deewar..Zanjeer.. (freak, i didn't remember them) and yes.. Sholay. The next 3-5 minutes were devoted to Sholay,the dialogues, an introspection of where Gabbar went wrong and .. 'Ye haath mujhe de de Thakur'...'Tere liye pair hi kaafi hain' .He was not only getting the most famous ones right, he was into the Tier-2 dialogues now(was that even a dialogue, I wondered)! :)

I was at the edge of my seat, laughing my ass off. The next half hour went in discussing the reason for his fall to the auto-world.. family issues and some lessons for my life!I listened with attention, even though the man was slurring so much he wouldn't get any points in JAM. ;) We later discussed the auto economics.. his take on the meltdown...and on being asked, some advice from me.The ride finally came to an end, and I walked away,wishing him all the fun at his youngest daughter's wedding in two months, with a smile, and having paid him 70 bucks! A ride to remember! :)

Discussions in Chennai always lead to either politics, public policy or... movies. But over the last few years, with the industries setting up shop,Chennaities are finding a new topic of conversation. As I hung out of the elctric trains, Chennai's metro, train trying to catch a whiff of fresh evening air,available in limited supply a conversation between two elderly men sitting in the first row caught my attention. It was not Karunanidi vs Jaya,not Rajni vs Kamal or IT vs Manufacturing... it was on Chennai's new brothers-at-arms.. Ford and Hyundai. Both were one of the first to set up facilities in Chennai's and somehow you always see as many Hyundais as Suzukis in Delhi. Ford was the rising star. Hyundai's small cars are better but their big cars were good but weren't marketed well, one of them said. The other disagreed, supporting the Ford range.Ah! This was turning into the Detroit of the South and a battle reminiscent of the GM vs 'Iacocca' Chrysler battle during the 80s was brewing.I have never lived in Chennai,I'm a rank out-of-towner.. but from what I've heard around, it does look like Chennai has found a new love.. Coffee,Carantic music and now.. Cars! :) A cup of strong filter Coffee, with Kadri Gopalnath setting the tone to a Hyundai/Ford hot hatch redline drive wouldn't be too bad either!

(to be contd.)

'1' of a kind!

If you live in Northern California, there is a no dearth of roads that b(l)end nature and the driving experience in one awesome package. CA-1,or Route 1 as they call it, is one of them. It starts from near San Diego and goes all the way, into Oregon, hugging the cliff-filled delicate coastline.The best section of the road around here starts from Monterey and heads down to the town of Big Sur.It is a weird conundrum you get into, every time you drive on it. You want to take in the breathtaking vistas.. but at the same time take the wheel, feel the force as you make blind turns, all while being ridiculously close to the edge of jagged cliffs. Split time, you say?That is where it gets tricky.The stretch is different every bit and the view when driving back is totally different. It is that kind of a place where you want to go once as a driver,if you love driving, and once as a passenger.... one lucky passenger.

It had hardly been a month since I landed in this part of the country when it was decided that we would visit Monterey.The junta was here for only 8 more weeks and as we came to realize,it was going to be tough picking the spots.Late on a Sunday morning we set out,still talking about how cold the Monterey Bay waters were the previous day,when we took a plunge in the ocean. What started that day, has almost become a 'Standard Operating Procedure'(SOP), when visiting Big Sur and my car's favorite haunt.

The first real hint of things to come, was at the Carmel River State Beach.As we watched the scuba divers get into their gear,plan and walk,yes... walk, into the ocean, we looked around to see small cliffs all around with the sunlight painting a unique color on them. As we took the customary pictures and started south, we were greeted by an interesting road sign.Shank and I looked at each other.74 miles of winding road? And we were doing only 30 of them to Big Sur? We could not wait for the 30 miles.

This was my first real 'drive' in my Si.. and it too was rubbing it hands in glee.. waiting for the 30 mile stretch.She wanted to run...fast! :) The stretch was like I'd never seen or imagined before.The greenish-blue sea,the road inches away from the edges of a jagged coastline filled with cliffs,the fog,the ridiculously sharp turns that lead you into an ocean of blue and on the other side, huge mountains.. with an icing of fog!Heaven must be close-by. The bridges looked like picture postcards,while defying belief and the gusty winds and if you missed a turn by a small margin,you had to get ready to swim. To top it all, were some outrageously beautiful houses on the cliffs. Who are these people? How do I get to stay there?


After a billion stops,gazillion pictures and some rather adventurous hiking to the cliffs, we finally reached level ground as we entered the various State parks.It was calm,serene driving through the forest. We were hungry and it was somehow the time when most chefs were taking the nap between lunch and preparing for dinner. We drove and drove,tried every restaurant on the way and finally on one such turn saw a restaurant perched up the mountain.The drive there was cruel, a 45 degree slope, on a two-way road. And the parking was no exception...a nightmare, especially when driving a manual.The views were stunning, the food outrageously good(puny portions though) and the restroom so wonderfully decorated you just wanted to stay there.I forget the name of the place,argh.


But on another subsequent visit, we soon found another spot that fits into the Route-1 trip. Behind River Inn,the first hint of civilization and Big Sur, when driving South is a small picnic area. Under the green tent the Ent doodes call,canopy, is a small but beautiful stream.But wait, that isnt even the best part. Just when you think of settling down on the grassy carpet next to the stream, you see the chairs on the stream. Yep.They are attached to the rocks, so you can get into the sometime shin deep ice cold water and relax.It is like listening to a Deep Forest CD, the water gushing, the birds and interrupted by an occasional Ferrari zipping through the road. :) Pick up a yummy Wrap or Burrito(the veggie ones are awesome),dip you feet into the water.. and RELAX! Time will indeed fly when doing so.


The best part of THE road is how slightly different it is every time you visit.Sometimes foggy with the clouds cutting into the road at sections,sometimes chillingly windy and sometimes just the sun and wind.But one thing is a perennial fixture. The cars. You should consider yourself unlucky, if you aren't following a 911, sometimes a Ferrari and like I did once, a Maserati!Ah! Sheer automotive Nirvana.And if you still aren't satisfied with just looking at the water,there's Carmel-by-the-Sea.Yeah! That's the name of the place. A beautifully idyllic town with splendid art galleries and an even more stunning array of supercars, the beach offers one of the best sunset views on the coast. And yes, it is dog friendly, in fact, it is like a dog-universe. :)


So if ever you are to visit Nor Cal, make sure to drop by.. but yes.. pick up a convertible.They may be not be the best driving cars, but they were dropped for the sole purpose of driving down such roads. Take to the twisties!!

Of starts.. and ends

Ever since you started listening to meejik,the one thing you always remembered was the start of any song.No surprises there, since as kids, we loved a few songs and as soon as it started playing on TV,radio or now,the Internet, we directed our attention to it. My nephew, a few months back,had to listen to 'Taxi Taxi', the Tamil song, on TV for him to start eating. :)

Over the years, as we started listening to music by the tons,the start became even more important.Not that it was all was that needed for you to get hooked to a song,but it was important nevertheless. During a recent weekend drive(the usual one), I decided to give one of my older folders some work . U2-All that you cant Leave Behind. I'd heard it in college, thanks to a friend who had the cassette.I'd heard all of the songs, but for one. New York.I don't know why, but I always remember running out of patience on the start,with Bono in absolutely no hurry to get the song going. I would forward it and head onto the next song. Today was different. I was tackling the traffic filled twists heading out of the valley and had forgotten to forward it. A minute or so into the song, it came alive,with so much energy, true to the name of the song. I heard it, and heard it again .. and again.

The first few minutes of a new song were always when, sitting in the car, you go either way,'Oh interesting' or.. 'Next station',most of the time. It didn't matter if the song was to get better later on, you'd assume that you'd jump listening to it in the middle and in the future and . An assumption. New York's start wasn't alone. Every time you'd listen to 'Hallowed be thy name' you'd use the slow start to get yourself closer to the speakers.. and then go breathless on the seemingly endless '(running)lowwwwwww........' trip with Dickinson. And then wait for it to blast on your face. Most AC/DC songs were similar,TNT,Hells Bells.. all slow starters that packed a punch.

The starts were remarkably brilliant in Indian film music as well. As I grew up, it was exhilarating listening to the starting minute of Ilayaraja's best numbers.So much that I'd created a 1:30 min collection of three of my fav ones.The starts from Mouna Ragam,Agni Natchathriam and that mid blowing theme from Punnagai Mannan. Rahman took over the mantle from him, to perfection with an innumerable number of such gems in the first minute. Too many to count.And the new wave of Hindi music with SEL,Amit Trivedi,Pritam(even if its lifted) have carried that forward. Oh!, the starts.

But there are some songs that make you wait all the way, before introducing you to their best. Dire Straits' Lady Writer is a prime example. It is a good song,starts in typical Dire Straits style, but you have to go to the last 30 seconds to get the best part.Mark Knopfler toys with the guitar and with such speed, you want the song to go on for some more time. Brilliant,end. Rahman produced something similar too, with 'Kismat Se' from Pukar. Nothing great, but having heard it recently, I bring it up.A song dripping with melody, the male and female voices come together in the end for a promising duel, with the tabla joining in, not to be left out. It is real short, when all three sounds merge and lead to a promising end.You only wish the tabla went a little more crazier.

I'm sure there are tons of other songs that have brilliant starts and ends that belie the sluggish start. The ones I have here are just those that I remember,very well,now.Do chime in with your picks.

Edit(10/26): In the 'ends' section... I forgot the 'Big Daddy' of all ends. 'Stairway to Heaven', Led Zep.Oooh! Thats is the most expensive gift you'll get, for your time. You wait for the first 4 minutes listening to Robert Plant talking about his 'wonder'.Then you are introduced to a certain Jimmy Page on the guitar. The two then decide to call Mr. Bonham on the drums and give you the gift. Your 'precious'.2 minutes. 2 minutes of adrenaline rush. 2 of the best musical minutes.Then,The End. One that needed the support of that START. Ah!

The flying nomad....

I guess that's how you feel,for a brief period, as you shuttle through airports across the world,heading to Hindustan.I hadn't done that on over 2 years and if was finally time. The airline had been selected, not much of a decision when it is a super inexpensive deal! :) the next things are always tough.The seats and meal selection. There are times when you make decisions sub-consciously and the seat selection is one of them,if you are claustrophobic. You want to select the aisle, common sense,stretch your legs, trip the air-hostess and have all the wine in her hand on your tee. But every time I try doing it, selecting the aisle seat, not the other one, I end up selecting the window.It feels liberating,no wonder I took the window seat in college too! :D
The meal.When in a new place, do you try the most weird or risk option on the menu? I usually do, with a reasonable hit rate. 'Oriental Vegetarian Meal,Mister.. Rangaanaa.. I'm sorry I can't pronounce it..' said the stewardess, laughing to herself at the very thought of the two words 'Oriental' and 'Vegetarian' co-existing,forgetting the name for a split second.I'm sure the chef looked at the list and went, "Oriental Vegetarian? Oh God.. why, why... is this my biggest test?'. No wonder I got steamed rice noodles, real fat ones, and 6 spears of Asparagus for lunch when leaving SFO and one HUGE slab of tofu when leaving Hong Kong.The cognac more than made up for it, but that's a different story. :)

When in a different country's airport, you look for the best place to experience their food.I was like a guy from Greenland in San Jose, who'd for sure look for a 'Taj Restaurant' when in search of Indian food.No luck on the way home, but one the way back,I found a place at the HK airport that served some yummy veg food.Sauteed vegetables,rice and mushrooms in a thin rice pancake.The texture of an Uthappam,with the thickness of a dosa.Yummy.A must eat. HK is also a great place to pick up some loose tea leaves with a tea infuser packed in a steel box, that is so exquisitely decorated. And then comes the cultural differences. You don't know what is the shopping etiquette is, especially when in the East. I opened this tee,wanted a different size, so tried to fold it in a not so bad way, and put it back. The sales girl, gave me 'You didn't fold it? ' kinda look, or so I thought. I wasn't asked to fold the tee again, atleast. :)Thank God.

As a traveller, you always contend with some characters,at airports or in the seat next to you.Having bid goodbye to my parents(sigh!) I proceeded to the duty free store in Chennai, looking for miniature bottles of spirit. As is the case, there usually is one pesky 'Sir, What can I help you with Sir?' on your back. This guy took it further.As I gave him the teeny weeny bottle, he looked straight at me and shot 'Sir, we also have cigarettes and cigars.Do you want some to go with this?'.Argh! Stop the stereotyping, phellow. He also had chocolates and perfumes, but somehow he thought I'd be more interested in coupling the 'bad habits'. I smiled and with a straight face told him ' One bad habit is enough, right?'. 'Right ,Sir', he said with a sheepish smile. That done, I was working my way through some delicious Singapore street noodles, all spicy(remember,Oriental Vegetarian) when this dude next to me started 'So where are you going?'. I'm not usually disconnected, when in a flight. You do the usual 'Hi' to the neighbour when you sit. This guy gave me a 'I don't say Hi' look in response. And here he was, trying to write my biography. It only got better,five minutes into the conversation,after we found out (yes, we finally found out where we were headed) he popped me the 'Easy Question'.'So.. you make about 60-75 lakhs in our money at that bank you work?'.He truly was chronicling my survival in the recession. And surprisingly, this was an 'easy question', primarily because you always expect it coming, when in the midst of more than 5 Tam-bram maamis around you. I'd mastered the response well, at this point. I make them feel elated.. by nodding at their guess. '65 lakhs?' Nod.. Nod Nod.. 'Naan nenachaen(I thought so). '45 lakhs?' Nod..Nod.. Nod.. 'Naan sonnaen illaya?'(I told you so..) the maami would tell her friend. My mom would have a good laugh too, waiting for me to crib about these people ,with her later! :) So I went Nod.. Nod.. Nod.. with this dude too, my new Biographer.

Best Sight : Watching the skyscrapers compete with the mountains in Hong Kong
Best Buy : Dragon tee and some tea leaves with the infuser, at HK airport ---->
Biggest Regret : Not enough time to listen to all the albums Cathay had. Ah! 78 Rock albums alone! Can we fly around the world twice? :)
Best Watch : Oye Lucky..Lucky Oye (Hindi).Every character is 100% Delhi. :) Brilliant.
Big Letdown : Citizen Kane.Argh! what a pain. So cliched. Such a bore.
Oh so Weird : As an elderly man found out, never knock on the restroom door , to ask someone to quicken, when on a flight! :)
Thumbs Up : Cathay Pacific!

Chinatown's oddities...

Chinatown in SF never stops throwing surprises at you.The kinda people you meet there and more importantly the variety of art work found in absolutely ordinary looking stores.It was a routine SF tour with IK when we decided to spend some extra time in Chinatown. I'd been there quite a few times, but was always pressed for time to get going. This time Shank and I decided we'd go there exclusively to pick up stuff for home.. with my impending India trip in mind.We started with a visit to the factory that made the fortune cookies..and had Chocolate fortune cookies.. and saw how simple it was to make the cookies... a flat crisp just folded right.. voila! done..

SF always has a 'fascinating' chaos associated with it.. and Chinatown takes it a step further.The roadside vegetable stores buzzing with people haggling for bargains, bakeries with some of the best coconut macaroons and the roadside vendors trying their best to catch your attention to what they sell! :) In between all this are the SF MUNI the metro buses.. cars trying to.. yep.. 'trying to' make their way through the melee and a truckload of pedestrians trying to cross the road.If you are lucky, as we were when IK was visiting, you even got to see a Dragon dance procession to collect funds from the shopkeepers(Maamu ko paisa dena kai..Shaney!!).

This visit though was meant to visit every store and see what novelties we could pick.And find we did...Chinese dolls decked to perfection, multi-layered candle stands(weirdly called Mango stand?),silk embroidered spectacle cases and the omnipresent samurai swords and the painstakingly artful masterpiece.. the bamboo woven vase(more on it later).As we walked along, we realized that it was the out of the ordinary stuff that was really.... weird..and ridiculously funny. So funny, we had to step out of the stores to let that laughter wave out, for fear of being blasted at... in an unknown language(Nee-haan.. was all we knew).

A couple of stores looked absolutely normal, swords, calendars, the waving cat(after a bit I felt dizzy thanks to the incessant waving).The cat as supposed to be a sign of good luck, we learned later. Another addition to the long list of luck-enhancing dolls/figurines, I guess. Most were adorable, unlike the pic on the right, which looks like it was forced to wave! :))

The cash counters in these stores were cutting edge.... in edgy entertainment. Yep.. there were a full stack of sex-toys.. bizarre sex games(these were hardcore, unlike the one we saw on Raymond).. and even better... candy based clothing(Apple candy bikinis anyone?)... and body 'accessories'. The people who noticed it had a good laugh, while some had a nervous one so as not to appear too loud! :) It was an entire world altogether.

Another store had huge toys.. there were the Transformers ones(I'm a not a fan of the toys.. but i'd take a Bumblebee Camaro anyday!!).. then the superheroes..Spider,Super and the King from Burger King.. wait..what was he doing there? Imagine.. you go home to your kid and as he anxiously waits for the huge gift-wrap he can see you hold, you pull out the King!! Unless he loved the mask 'V' wore in V for Vendetta.. am not sure he'd be thrilled.

In a nearby aisle, next to the irritatingly noisy dolls that spoke.. everything from 'Get lost' to 'Kiss me' were bars of soap. Soap? here? we wondered. The cover read...'For a cheek to cheek clean'.Hmmm.. facial soap maybe.. with Chinese natural ingredients. One closer look and we were ROTFLOL!!! The soap had "FACE" engraved in huge letters on one side, which was white in colour.The other side was dark brown.. and had the words "BUTT" written in equally huge letters!! What a brilliant idea!Oh maen.. you have to pack only one soap when flying to the Bahamas... and have to have both face and butt soaps.. so what do you do? you get the soap that cleans cheek to cheek!You've got to give it to the guys who came up with the caption. Am sure these are the same guys that decide my fortune. :)

Most stores were still on the MJ tribute mode.. Thriller playing form one end and Bad from another... non-stop. Amidst all that were a gazillion roadside vendors inciting a new revolution selling Che Guevara tees.With tired legs and my stupid decision to leave my jacket home(why would anyone in NorCal ever step out without sunglasses and a jacket) playing havoc, we wound up with one final store.But there was enough food or thought there to last an entire train journey back to Mountain View.

We've heard of the 3- monkeys made famous by the Mahatma.But in a twist in the tale, historians have found the presence of a fourth monkey that was cut away, from the stand that became famous, during the medieval period.This store had the original. The 4 monkeys.If the 3 stood for..

• Don't hear Himesh's music
• Don't speak of his music
• Don't watch his movies

What was the fourth meant to mean? Why was it hidden from us all along....and why is that monkey the only one looking the other way.tch tch! Profound questions....I guess we still stand by the 3 monkeys as the fourth, is well.. as edgy as any B-grade horror flick. Or was it to mean..' @#$%^/Do no evil'?A conservative India would never be able to accept it,I'm sure. But why did the Chinese come up with it in the first place?And.. more importantly.. when did they come up with this genius monkey! We'd never know... nevertheless.. it did help us laugh our way back... and return satisfied with our pieces of art.Including a bamboo covered vase from a ridiculously humble lady.A small 4 inch vase typically takes, as she explained, 4 hours to 'weave on' and she even weaves patterns(on the entire vase..every inch of it!) such as the Panda on them.. brilliant work. We picked up a couple and wished we could get that $150 buck tea set.. tea pot and four cups.. all covered with beautiful bamboo patterns.The set took her a week to complete.It still was sold for $150? Wo! In a country where labor id perenially over-valued, this!Sigh! :(.We spent quite some time listening to her explain on how she did them.. amazed!We returned.. vowing to go back sometime when we need to pick interesting stuff.Chinatown.. a place like no other indeed.

Left is right... and right is wrong....

Here's whats happening in Samoa.... a rare event.. as rare as seeing Punter Ponting all genuine.I was told this by a collegaue at work sometime back... and was intrigued... in this day and age would it make sense? Guess it does... On Sep 7th, Samoa is switching the side they drive on.I knwo you might say.. 'Ah c'mon.. we do that every once in a while back home'!! :))

Here is the WSJ report.
It is always fascinating how governments and organizations always come up with the best possible acronym... that people will always remember.PASS, is the organization supporting it. Will they.... passs?:)) Guess they'll only have to fear.. fear only and oh.. a huge truck coming at you too!

the start of it all...

It was to be a rare weekend at home.But its that itching to get out.. to get out and feel the fresh air. And I had a reason to... Ganesh Chathurthi it was... on Sunday.So it was decided that we make a trip to see the dude in his summer retreat.. Livermore. Set amidst the giant windmills on top of hills, it is perfect California in spring, and all green(Windows screensaver says Shank). In summer it turns into one of the many reasons why this is the Golden state. All dry and ready to burn grass.The temple is like any back home.. all dieties and lots of area around, to make you feel silent and serene. I somehow am more comfortable with this kinda place than one small hall as a temple. To me, the point of getting there is to come out feeling good and get some rare and precious moments of meditative silence.That is, if you can withstand the incessant yapping around and people unleashing their huge SLRs right in front of boards that specifically mention 'No Photography Allowed'. It riles me to no end. I almost felt like walking up to this gentleman(?), removing his lens.. and handing him a small piece of paper with Dodo1 on it.

'Please come later to the backside and collect the lens after presenting this token,Saar', I felt like telling them.

Thankfully,the place is equipped, really.. equipped to handle crowds.. and there are enough volunteers to keep over-zealous 'devotees' from cutting through the lines(and getting tripped by me!!) :))

Anyways,we finished the darshan and the as I stood in line to collect the prasadam, I realised the abundance of them all over the place. Styrofoam plates, plastic spoons etc. I'm not a tree-hugger(the perennially exaggerated reference used by those who hate common sense ideology).. but am always surprised by how good we are.... at being eco-friendly in the smallest things.. and always miss the big ticket items!

I guess it wouldn't be too tough for the temple to get bio-degradable cutlery.. for God's sake(he ha ha!) :)) And as has always been the case, there is a huge advantage to a movement when religion gets behind it. I'm sure there are enough people who dont notice it unless the Supreme Office does it. 'Ada, kovil ley idhu thaan use panraanga pa' (Even the temple uses eco-friendly stuff,dude.. in Tamil) would become a common refrain. What a huge filip the entire movement would get among the staunch followers, usually the slowest adopters. After all, what is religion if it cannot lead to the development of the community and greater good. I decided to coontact the temple to see if they respond.
Ok.. done with the serious writing.. :) now to the fun sighting....

As we picked up the food, met a few familiar faces and stood in a corner to munch on the sambhar rice, I happened to notice two kiddos next to us having an extremely animated conversation. The boy(Kid1) had a Calvinesque hairdo... as with all kids... while the girl(Kid2) was well.. lets say Susie like!! :)

Kid1: So tell me....
Kid2: what do you want to know....

Kid1: Do you sleep in a bunk bed?
Kid2: Bunk bed? Nooooo.....

I didnt know if it was at home or some camp.... but our Kid1 wasnt expecting a No for an anwer... he was confused... if there was a Calvin expression to capture the moment, it would this....
Stuttering along, obviously still not accepting the answer....he continued...

Kid1:No bunk bed? So... what... do ....you .....sleep on...
Kid2:(enthusiastically) a huuuuuge Queen size bed (with arms wide open to show the size of the bed)....

Kid1: Queen size bed(amused by the description)....
Kid2: Yes.. a big bed... :)

That when we had to walk away.. but the kid's expression stayed with me. He had just experienced Peer Pressure 101.. :)) if it was camp, he's going to pester his parents to send him to it.. while the parents are still wondering as to who put this into his head!! And if it is at home? ah! forget it... he'll not sleep unless he sleeps on a 'huge Queen bed' :) I'm sure he'll be as disappointed as being shown a bag full of candies and only given one. But as with kids and some adults too (hint hint!!) being serious/sad over extended periods is not their core competency.One bright yellow truck will do for some........ or sometimes all it takes a drive in the open road to the tune of...(right now).. ' Kya Karoon' from Wake Up Sid.. or always pep song...Be Yourself by Audioslave ....always! Peer pressure.. eco-friendliness.. all can start right in.. HIS office..... and while we delve on Him... i shall recall a saint's words... 'HE must be a Mech'!! hee haa haa! :)

..err.. ummm.. could you repeat the kostin?

I guess there's a dire necessity for some people to turn.. well.. macho.. and all 'Hulk'y... and intimidate harmless people around them.Its a bit more common back home, where the Gabru jawaan consider it their birthright.Middle aged men, in the absence of the Harleys and the associated 'cure for the crisis', think of it as their way of letting out steam and feeling powerful.But if you live in a normal neighborhood here, you'd never have seen it and think it never could happen.My sis would be flabbergasted at being asked that question.
You've heard stories of it from your non-confrontational and peace loving friends but your life is not complete until you've been asked that question.Its more the tone and the body language though, all pepped by the last few generation of WWE love.

'You gotta a praublem with that?'. Six words oozing with bravada... so it may seem.
Having lived in the midwest(Ohio) there's a good chance you'd have heard that, but two years in Cal.. and I'd forgotten it.

It was a routine trip to the department store, after a enjoyable lunch. There I was, sitting in the backseat of Shank's car, playing my DJ role to perfection. We were pulling out of the parking lot when we notice a car zip past, bringing us to a stop. We all look at each other in kinda surprise... but having seen it a gazillion times here in Cal moved on. IK was surprised..SLC , for sure would not see this happening! :))
We proceeded to the exit when at a turn, when suddenly a giant green SUV veered towards us from the parallel aisle and stopped just short of the driver's side. All this while I was busy choosing the next song and enjoying my ..Limca... (a real cute looking Sushma Reddy too..drool drool!!)aah! It had been ages since I had one.. the last time i had one, am sure people were still using spellcheck to get 'recession' correct(1 or 2 's' in it, dude?)!
Shank braked hard as he tried to avoid the SUV, which was making a desperate attempt to threaten us. The windows rolled down and a few words excahnged between the driver and Shank.. well it was more words one way.. and an amused expression from the other!! :)
I looked on,surprised and amused too... wondering if Shank did have a pretty aggressive friend, maen! :))Then it sounded something familiar to me.... 'You got a problem with that?????' was the question from the driver of the SUV, while still talking over the phone(note, no handfree,where's my 20 bucks' fine). We decided not to answer ..just nodded and moved on. It took only 10 seconds when we all looked at each other,after a brief silence and had a hearty laugh! :)) What .. was... that! Unless he thought we'd flipped him the bird, as I lifted my Limca(oh.. c'mon who wouldnt), we'd done nothing to instigate it. We laughed on and actually wondered how we should have answered it... considering we had done nothing to offend,Sire. Lets give it a shot at it, shall we(in Brit accent please)... :)

Dude:'You gotta...'
Us:... hmmmm.. I dont know...I'm new to this place...no GPS too... think I can call a friend and check?

Dude:'You gotta...'
Us:(looking at the car)... (pause)oh... ya... think its time to change the oil... Wait.. are you from Sunnyvale Toyota mobile service..wow!? :))

Dude:'You gotta...'
Us:..C'mon doode... your hair is longer than all three of us put together.. we have an obvious complex(and IK nods vigorously)!! :)

Dude:'You gotta...'
Us:why should I.. its all matched up.... a green SUV and a matching coloured mobile phone? which one came free with which?

Dude:'You gotta...'
Us:Sure i do... is still think Palin should run in 2012.. on both the Dem and Rep tickets... unfair media bias,I say!

Dude:'You gotta...'
Us:oh.. that one.. or THAT one... am always confused between those,dude... could you clarify???

Dude:'You gotta...'
Us:.. Isn't that what we all want to know.. and what the utlimate motive of life is...... tch tch! how profound a statement,Sir...

Dude:'You gotta...'
Us:pssst... engliss nahin aatha ... tamil mein bolo anna...:))

.. and more....

So the next time you ask someone the question, do the right thing. Be courteous(ya right!) and make sure the blissfully innocent person knows what the problem is..... else... someday your going to have to... explain....and that'll kill the very spirit of the question!!

Bathinda to Brazil...

A real cute Puunjabi kudi can take your breath away... and when you mix some Brazilian genes... she sure will cause havoc... almost. It all started a couple of weeks back....when we came back from Love Aaj Kal.I'm picky about the movies I watch, going by my instinct as much as the reviews. Sometimes they turn out to be ridiculously laborious.. Oh yes! the Pink Panther-2.A movie which I wanted to watch primarily cos the first one was partly hilarious.. and the trailer for the second one promised a lot. But I shud've known that Hollywood is as cruel as bollywood... slick trailers and sick movies! All the laughs were in the trailer.. and I was almost dozing off, having even skipped the ice cream my friend suggested I get for the movie. Anyways, back to the kahaani. Love Aaj Kal was interesting at best.. and the songs sounded even better. but one thing stood out. HARLEEN KAUR. Who the hell was that pristine and fresh face that spoke more than words could have? The eyes, the expressions.. made you look want more of Rishi Kapoor's flashback than madame Deepika herself. We came back and immediately utilized the services of Silicon valley's finest... Google! :) IMDB cast? no Harleen... other movie websites too went the same way... no listed in the cast..a nd it was just a day after the release, so not too many reviews had listed her. Finally we found her...Giselli Monteiro... now wiki even has her Har- Kaur as the display pic... we sure have taken over the www!

We began to dig more on her... a Brazilian.. ah! that explains why Shank and I looked at the screen puzzled while she achingly laboured through the jhatka dance moves... err.... but only momentarily. she looked at us again, and awwww! we were weak kneed immediately!! :))
So it was decided that the next time we go out, we'd head out to a Brazilian place..ta da! thats a cuisine we hadnt tried before... we shall dedicate it to Giselli Kaur!

The next day.The concert and the walking and running had made us hungry. We still found some energy to wander into a GAP store, cos after all it was SF..and GAP had to be good. Naa! turns out they had the same old old man stuff positioned as the yeng peepal stuff again! argh! Off to Adidas.. and I felt like I was in Delhi's airport... surrounded by taxi guys. Only, this time it was the sales guys... who thought they'd spotted their bakra for the day.Yep..I was wearing my fav Argentina jersey. My PRECIOUS! I remember running to Fifth Avenue in Bangalore , as soon as I finished college and had cash in the bank, MY cash in the bank, to get it. Ah! I finally had it... Rarely do I wear it. and that day I decided to give it a break from the boring environs of my closet and let it out in the woods to some music... The sales guys wanted me,yep.. they WANTED me to buy the new jersey that had just arrived. I looked awesome...I liked it.. but somehow felt it was wonderfully overpriced. Out we walked, getting Shank's iPhone working on Urbanspoon.. to find us a Brazilian place to eat.We found one, a few blocks away.As I was getting ready to cross the street, I walked past a parked car.. and there I saw it. A brown man, in an Argentina jersy, getting ready to waltz into a Brazilian place. Holy Crap,as Frank (from Raymond) would say!

The other two guys didn't seem too perturbed, after all, I WAS WEARING IT! :) They in fact wanted to see the outcome... would I get strange and dangerous looks? Would I be served bad food.. or even better.. would they do what I always manage to do best... drop food on my t-shirt? :)) I sprung into action. Its not too often that I respect the place I live in,NorCal or Northern California.. where you'd be endangering your mobility if you don't walk out without your jacket, especially in the evening. I typically ignore the ritual ,to enjoy the cold, but that day I hadn't.I covered every inch of the blue and white jersey.. as my wonderful friends protested.But the mother of anti-climax awaited us. The Brazilian place had closed down.. damn! I immediately got rid of my blue-gray jacket.. and proudly displayed my blue-whites as I got more hi-fives and 'awesome team maen' shouts from strangers in stores!All thanks to the kudi... the cute Latino-Poonjabi kudi(salsa and bhangra fusion playing in the background)! :)

A 'mermaid' out of water... in the woods!

As I'd mentioned in the previous post... the three of us stooges decided to head to watch Kailash Kher at Stern Grove... the setting was very interesting.. set in a grove... with lines of tall redwood trees up a hill on which you could sit and enjoy the beetiphul meesic! I was confused, as I had to be at two places... but eventually decided on Sat to become one more of Allah Ke Bande...

The train ticket adventure all done, and the sandwiches smelling real good (they were from one of my fav places.. 'witchcraft,in SF).. we were on the platform.. trying to figure out the next train to take.. with the Google App for Blackberry (it works better than Shank's iPhonva.. hee haa!) working overtime.. we were joined when we got down at the station near Stern Grove by a lady, who'd come from the East Bay and heading to the same concert... and her toddler.. who already looked travel weary, having taken two trains to get here. We walked towards the grove and the conversation moved to the kiddo's name... As soon as we heard it.. we were all smiles... it was.. well ....that cute.... Jalpari( or Jolpari.. in bong) meaning , a mermaid.. the lady stressed the use of 'o' in the name. Having had some real good bangla friends (and having taught them enough tambi,tamil, for them to survive in south interior tambi-land) we had picked some bits of bong.. and most of the pronunciation. The lady though was pleasantly surprised that south indian looking fellas got it right. :)We found out later that Jolpari was her pet name.. and her real name was.. well.. I forgot what it was, but it had something to do with water too. I quipped that water seemed to be the 'concept' (with Shank giving me the 'You better stop chaating her now')for the names and that we loved it.... and she agreed, having come up with them :))

We walked along, as she negotiated some stroller traffic on the path.. and were confused to see the route we had to take to get to the entrance of the concert. It was a narrow hiking trail, with a pretty steep gradient and tree roots all over the place... and we wondered if that was the only way to get there. Everyone around was taking it... but we realised that Jolpari's mom would struggle. Shank made sure she was fine.. while Nag and I gave the kiddo a sweet smile, made sure she was ok.. and walked the stroller down.. rather.. carried it down!A few twists, turns and tossing around and little Jolpari finally landed on the concert floor... rocking with the thump from the nearby speakers. We were to look after her while her mom went to look for the tickets. She was amazingly unperturbed but seemed to be enjoying.. smiling at the music in the air.She had to climb some more though.. to meet her aunt who was to meet the little princess.This time it was steep and narrow path to climb onto the hillside... and a few minutes later came two people beaming with smiles and arms wide open ... Jolpari ... they exclaimed!The mermaid had made it to watch Kailash Kher... with even a majestic view from up in the hills.. while her mom explained to her folks that that the three gentlemen(clearing my throat) helped her tame the terrain! :)) We waved at little Jolpari and bid goodbye to her... hoping she'd enjoy the music and the setting and would someday be told of this story by her mom.. while playing Allah Ke Bande.As for me, in those minutes when carrying her down,I was as careful as when climbing Yosemite's upper falls last year on a rainy and ridiculously cold day.. the responsibility I guess. All for the little mermaid. Long after we'd danced to Chak de Phatte and clapped our hands until they were red.. when there was a rare moment of silence(considering the two of us chatterboxes hated silence) the first words uttered were...... Jolpari.The most interesting name I'd heard in a while.... Khoob Suonder Naam! :)

The 'green' monsters!

The whole weekend was like an episode of Seinfeld... one small irritating issue living with us... travelling with us and almost ruining the day! It started off rather innocuously... all I had to do was to head to the nearby self-wash station and give my Si a super wash! It all went on well, until the machine that was to give the quarters did not like the notes I was sending in, halfway through the wash.It was like a competion... I send the note in.. and count to three, and out the note would come!! damn! It'd been a while since I was so angry and frustrated! The whole thing got so irritating that I did a rather ordinary job at washing.. and would most likely have to wash it soon... sorry Si!:)

We were to then head to the Hanuman temple in the hills(oh yes! there will soon be a post on that).. pick up some stuff from the ayurveda store(yes! in the mountains up in Watsonville!) for an ailing friend and then head to my weekend retreat.. Shank's Spanish-style(it'll turn you into Brendan Fraser in Bedazzled..in no time.. you'll run out screaming... muchooss graaciaass) apartment in Mountain view.The store was closed.. so we decided to catch a snack at Anjaneya's world cafe(my dad'll love that name).. near the temple... but as it turns out.. the place doesnt accept cash(the $20 note makes its grand entry.. BG meejik et al).. so all we could do was walk around...but when we finally went to the store, that was almost in the forest, we realized, well.. they accepted cards!! hmm... so the store that less people frequent does something than the more popular cafe. yes... that makes perfect sense? :)

We drove into the clouds .. and when we came out of it, we were in the mountains, driving down a road that'll fit perfectly in any of the Final Destination series.It was narrow.. winding.. and well... a dirt road, with atleast a 50-100 ft fall if we missed a turn.. and ridiculously blind turns.. can you even call that a road? :))I wasnt driving... so my friend Murphy could'nt do much! Finally we made it out.. and head to Fremont's Naz8, my first visit there, to catch Love Aaj Kal... had been ages since I watched a Hindi movie, especially in the theatre. The movie's songs were awesome.. and I'd made Shank and Nag hear it long and repeatedly enough that they wanted to watch it too! :) After an unsuccesful attempt at AMC, there we were, trying to catch the 10pm.We reach the box office and see the dreaded printout.. "Cash Only at counter"(the $20 bill giving the Gulshan Grover smile).. The ATM machine inside didnt work and we were almost shoo'ed away by the guy there as though we were going to pull a 'Bank Job' on the ATM. We managed to find an ATM nearby.. and happily took enough cash for the rest of the month, only to make it to the top of the line and be told.. "10pm sow solld... laben pm sow only"... argh! it was like a credit card offer... *conditions apply.. need to spent 2 hrs in this place... all while hungry and trying to find a good place to eat! We took the tickets and ended up going to Sweet Tomatoes(the review on that rather interesting experience later). We watched the movie(not bad at all),after some super desi ads and thought we'd had enough of the 'green monsters'!
Apparently not.....cut to Day:2... just in time for a Kailash Kher concert.. there we were.. at the Powell station in SF trying to get catch the MUNI... only to realise that the ticket counter took only quarters... and the change machine that would give you quarters..accepted only $1 bills(seriously, this is supposed to make the experience so freaking good that the aam junta would prefer public transit again?) .. Shank ran to get a $ 5 bill(the $20 bill's kid has grown up into a villain too!!) broken.. and returned with.. a banana(??) and more ammo,$1 bills.. while I was doing the Ka-Ching routine at the speed .. the machine wanted to! :))Finally.. we ran to the turnstiles...one guy holding the bag of lunch sandwiches... one with a backpack and the remaining bills... and me flexing my forearm and wrist with 6 bucks worth of qtrs.. in slow-mo!! :)) It'd have been fun had one of them decided to slip through my fingers.... :)
We made it to the concert... through the weekend.. and after the multiple encounters with the $ 20 clan, ended the weekend with none of them remaining.. but me made it alright, just about!
What Now? Get our quarter-ammo ready, in a sack, when we hit SF's MUNIs next weekend.. and walk in slow-mo too...!

Update: A couple of days after I had written about them, the monsters strike again! Fighting a back spasm and trying to desperately get some work done, I went to the office vending machine, for the first time in well... ages!I picked up an Its-It ice cream sandwich(yummy cappuccino flavor) and out they came.In response to a $5 bill.. there was one sound .. and one too many in a few second... I was Ka-ching'ed!! I walked to my desk with a bar of choc sandwich in one hand... and a handful of DIMES, worth about 4 BUCKS in the other.... and there were a couple of folks who did seem quite amused.. looks like I gave the fag end of their day something to laugh about.. trrring.. KaChing!!

One Funda(e) sundae ..uncle... Part 1

Shopkeepers are a unique breed.The kirana store guy back home was one of the community's most colorful characters.He was at the center of most action,be it gossip or advice. He was the oldest version of Yelp,always sharing his pearls of gyan with his best customers. "All these dirt blasters and wash boosters wont work,Madam" he'd tell your mom simplifying the Rin vs Ariel battle. Some of them were brutally supportive of your mom's parenting decisions.... like telling you to listen to your amma when she tells you to stop reaching into the jar for the third Fruit& Nut bar,having already pocketed two!! You hated them.Some others were true heroes in your eyes,like those that tell you exactly that one particular brand of cricket balls(those made of rubber with all those fake seams etc!!) was way better and would last longer.You'd swear to buy everything from them from that moment on, if that was indeed the case. Customer loyalty 101 aced with an A+ and even J.D Power would be proud.:)

But their biggest connection with the customer was always... fundas or philosophy. "Beyond a point we are like kids to our children.We have to listen to them...." he'd tell the lady,who'd pay more attention to him that a SunTV daytime soap,while weighing the moong dal.The more lady nodded in agreement, the more the funda flowed and so did the moong dal into the plastic bag(tch tch!!).Over time, the globalization wave hit you hard on the face and made you stand in front of a unifom or an automated lady asking you to "Please place the items in the bag" even before you could wonder what the hell you dorm rommate bought (while he sheepishly answers that it was on a "deal" in the bakery section).... :))

The shopkeeper had ceased to be important until he came along as the "Soup Nazi" on Seinfeld... and you laughed ur a$$ off at this audacious man with a heart(awwwww!! Did you see how he connected with Kramer??) and wondered if Sunny Deol(with an obvious flashback) would play him in a movie role!! :)) The funda-vending shopkeeper is alive and well... kicking, as the deli guy or in a subdued role in Mom-n-Pop stores.But recently I came across one that was way more entertaining than any I'd seen in the recent past, in an experience that was throwback to my childhood days.

..at the start...

Am finally here... its taken a while, but as one of my fav songs go,"Its not too late..never too late".There have been ideas tossed around for ages now, but none led to the ultimate goal, getting the keystrokes working. Frankly, I've never been a writing/blogging guy... I'd prefer a more personal form of communication, speaking and am usually animtaed when describing stuff... and I have given up on a good speech to text s/w...where is it,NASA? :)
Over the last few years, I have been able to survive by conducting my experiments with travel/food and based off the wwww,wonderful world wide web.This, I see, as a my chance to give back,and in a way,'Pay it Forward'.Most of the writings here are opinions,essentially on stuff that happens around me, and as Murphy's fav kid, a lot usually does!! :)Travel,food&music,my three degress of freedom, am expecting, would dominate the writing. So welcome, and hope you board the bus everytime it gets to this stop.