Thursday, September 24, 2009

Chinatown's oddities...

Chinatown in SF never stops throwing surprises at you.The kinda people you meet there and more importantly the variety of art work found in absolutely ordinary looking stores.It was a routine SF tour with IK when we decided to spend some extra time in Chinatown. I'd been there quite a few times, but was always pressed for time to get going. This time Shank and I decided we'd go there exclusively to pick up stuff for home.. with my impending India trip in mind.We started with a visit to the factory that made the fortune cookies..and had Chocolate fortune cookies.. and saw how simple it was to make the cookies... a flat crisp just folded right.. voila! done..

SF always has a 'fascinating' chaos associated with it.. and Chinatown takes it a step further.The roadside vegetable stores buzzing with people haggling for bargains, bakeries with some of the best coconut macaroons and the roadside vendors trying their best to catch your attention to what they sell! :) In between all this are the SF MUNI the metro buses.. cars trying to.. yep.. 'trying to' make their way through the melee and a truckload of pedestrians trying to cross the road.If you are lucky, as we were when IK was visiting, you even got to see a Dragon dance procession to collect funds from the shopkeepers(Maamu ko paisa dena kai..Shaney!!).

This visit though was meant to visit every store and see what novelties we could pick.And find we did...Chinese dolls decked to perfection, multi-layered candle stands(weirdly called Mango stand?),silk embroidered spectacle cases and the omnipresent samurai swords and the painstakingly artful masterpiece.. the bamboo woven vase(more on it later).As we walked along, we realized that it was the out of the ordinary stuff that was really.... weird..and ridiculously funny. So funny, we had to step out of the stores to let that laughter wave out, for fear of being blasted at... in an unknown language(Nee-haan.. was all we knew).

A couple of stores looked absolutely normal, swords, calendars, the waving cat(after a bit I felt dizzy thanks to the incessant waving).The cat as supposed to be a sign of good luck, we learned later. Another addition to the long list of luck-enhancing dolls/figurines, I guess. Most were adorable, unlike the pic on the right, which looks like it was forced to wave! :))

The cash counters in these stores were cutting edge.... in edgy entertainment. Yep.. there were a full stack of sex-toys.. bizarre sex games(these were hardcore, unlike the one we saw on Raymond).. and even better... candy based clothing(Apple candy bikinis anyone?)... and body 'accessories'. The people who noticed it had a good laugh, while some had a nervous one so as not to appear too loud! :) It was an entire world altogether.

Another store had huge toys.. there were the Transformers ones(I'm a not a fan of the toys.. but i'd take a Bumblebee Camaro anyday!!).. then the superheroes..Spider,Super and the King from Burger King.. wait..what was he doing there? Imagine.. you go home to your kid and as he anxiously waits for the huge gift-wrap he can see you hold, you pull out the King!! Unless he loved the mask 'V' wore in V for Vendetta.. am not sure he'd be thrilled.

In a nearby aisle, next to the irritatingly noisy dolls that spoke.. everything from 'Get lost' to 'Kiss me' were bars of soap. Soap? here? we wondered. The cover read...'For a cheek to cheek clean'.Hmmm.. facial soap maybe.. with Chinese natural ingredients. One closer look and we were ROTFLOL!!! The soap had "FACE" engraved in huge letters on one side, which was white in colour.The other side was dark brown.. and had the words "BUTT" written in equally huge letters!! What a brilliant idea!Oh maen.. you have to pack only one soap when flying to the Bahamas... and have to have both face and butt soaps.. so what do you do? you get the soap that cleans cheek to cheek!You've got to give it to the guys who came up with the caption. Am sure these are the same guys that decide my fortune. :)

Most stores were still on the MJ tribute mode.. Thriller playing form one end and Bad from another... non-stop. Amidst all that were a gazillion roadside vendors inciting a new revolution selling Che Guevara tees.With tired legs and my stupid decision to leave my jacket home(why would anyone in NorCal ever step out without sunglasses and a jacket) playing havoc, we wound up with one final store.But there was enough food or thought there to last an entire train journey back to Mountain View.

We've heard of the 3- monkeys made famous by the Mahatma.But in a twist in the tale, historians have found the presence of a fourth monkey that was cut away, from the stand that became famous, during the medieval period.This store had the original. The 4 monkeys.If the 3 stood for..
  • Don't hear Himesh's music
  • Don't speak of his music
  • Don't watch his movies
What was the fourth meant to mean? Why was it hidden from us all along....and why is that monkey the only one looking the other way.tch tch! Profound questions....I guess we still stand by the 3 monkeys as the fourth, is well.. as edgy as any B-grade horror flick. Or was it to mean..' @#$%^/Do no evil'?A conservative India would never be able to accept it,I'm sure. But why did the Chinese come up with it in the first place?And.. more importantly.. when did they come up with this genius monkey! We'd never know... nevertheless.. it did help us laugh our way back... and return satisfied with our pieces of art.Including a bamboo covered vase from a ridiculously humble lady.A small 4 inch vase typically takes, as she explained, 4 hours to 'weave on' and she even weaves patterns(on the entire vase..every inch of it!) such as the Panda on them.. brilliant work. We picked up a couple and wished we could get that $150 buck tea set.. tea pot and four cups.. all covered with beautiful bamboo patterns.The set took her a week to complete.It still was sold for $150? Wo! In a country where labor id perenially over-valued, this!Sigh! :(.We spent quite some time listening to her explain on how she did them.. amazed!We returned.. vowing to go back sometime when we need to pick interesting stuff.Chinatown.. a place like no other indeed.

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